http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BlqLwCKkeY
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Sonia Sotomayor, U.S. Supreme Court nominee.
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/ny-ussoto0712852404jun06,0,6052421.story
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http://www.supremecourtus.gov/
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Bird On The Wire.
http://espn.go.com/horse-racing/
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NJ lottery
http://www.state.nj.us/lottery/home.shtml
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"Do not buy golf clubs as a gift".
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http://www.jpost.com/
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The "WAR on TERROR" is now being called The "Overseas Contingency Plan".
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D-day and H-hour
http://www.history.army.mil/faq/ddaydef.htm
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H-hour_(D-day)
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Brian Deese, the 31-year-old in charge of dismantling GM
http://www.indenvertimes.com/2009/06/02/brian-deese-the-31-year-old-in-charge-of-dismantling-gm/
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Caller says
"Chris is a Genius and a true Patriot".
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Pravda
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pravda
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A Short History of Nearly Everything.
http://www.amazon.com/Short-History-Nearly-Everything-Illustrated/dp/0767923227
41 comments:
I told 'ya Bob Levy COULDN'T string TWO GOOD SHOWS, back-to-back. He destroys himself because he CAN'T control his emotions on the air. Today, he was "deflated" and "disappointed." Kevin Williams runs "Topic 'A'" like a moderator. Bob? Like a bully pulpit. Bob, this is "Bill," from Toms River, turn the microphone over to Kevin! PLEASE!! The overwhelming political partisanship (week-after-week) is KILLING the show. It's become "them" versus "us." Four hours of polarized opinions is BORING!
Bobby, five months after Barack Hussein Obama's inauguration, he finds himself being "tested" by an international despot. Kim Jong il.
IF John McCain HAD been elected President, I'd sleep like a baby, tonight. Barack, though? I'll sleep with one eye open, tonight.
And a Sig Sauer under my pillow!!!
Bobby, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is watching (intently)
to see WHAT Barack Hussein Obama DOES in this crisis with North Korea. If "Dubya'" were still in The White House, he'd lean over (real FAST!), say "BOO!" to both of 'em, and they'd run like Hell!!
THAT'S leadership!!!
Bobby, "Bill," from Toms River, again.
Barack Hussein Obama = Jimmy Carter, Redux.
(Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring)
OPERATOR: The White House, how can I help you.
CALLER: This is General Betrayus, about twelve million North Koreans are coming over the 38th papallel, right now, into South Korea! I NEED to speak with President Obama, IMMEDIATELY!!!
OPERATOR: I'm sorry, General, President Obama and his wife are having dinner at Le Cirque. It's date night at The White House!!
GENERAL BETRAYUS: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, we're being attacked!
OPERATOR: General, The President left strict word with us that he NOT be disturbed. After dinner, both he and Mrs. Obama will be attending a concert headlined by
Kanye West and Beyonce.
GENERAL BETRAYUS: No, it's YOU who doesn't understand. We're taking casualties, here! AAAAAHHHH, I'm hit, I'm bleeding...
OPERATOR: General, I didn't get that last transmission...General?
General? General?? General???
Line goes dead.
SUPERVISOR AT WHITE HOUSE SWITCHBOARD: Who was that that you were just talking-to?
OPERATOR: Nobody. Wrong number.
(Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring)
OPERATOR: The White House, how can I help you?
MICHELLE OBAMA: Rosie, it's me, Michelle, Kanye West is SO handsome!! The President wants to know if everything's ALL RIGHT??!!
OPERATOR: Well, we got a garbled message from South Korea, but I think it was a prank.
MICHELLE OBAMA: Good, because after the concert the President and I are having drinks with Puffy and 50 Cent.
OPERATOR: Yeah, GET DOWN, Girl!!!
Line goes dead.
My apologies. I meant "38th parallel," in that last comment, not "38th papallel." YOU probably KNEW that, though!
THE WHITE HOUSE, WASHINGTON, D.C.
President Obama and Vice-President Biden prepare to greet Iranian President Ahmadinejad, who is arriving for his "sleepover" in The Lincoln Bedroom.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Mr. President, welcome to Washington, D.C.
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: (In his native language, no translator available) Yeah, up your nose, with a rubber hose!
PRESIDENT OBAMA: (Nervously) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. (To Vice-President Biden) WHAT, do you think he said, Joe?
VICE-PRESIDENT BIDEN: I think he wants to know IF you get al-jazeera, here, at The White House.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Yes, Mr. President, and HBO, too!!
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: (Still no translator) Putz!
(President Obama and President Ahmadinejad pose for more pictures, and then the Iranian despot is led up to The Lincoln Bedroom to "freshen up").
Ring, Ring, ring, Ring.
(President Ahmadinejad reaches for his cellphone. It's his top guy at his plutonium enrichment plant)
Mr. President, GOOD NEWS, all systems are a go, here.
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: Great! We can begin selling nuclear weapons to our "friends," then?
TOP SCIENTIST: Yes, sir, I have a purchase order from Osama bin Laden, already.
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAB: Yabba-Dabba-Do!!
TOP SCIENTIST: One thing, sir, but Osama wants to know if you can get the coordinates to America's Homeland Security headquarters from the American President?
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: (smiling, laughing) Are you kidding, he's gonna' fix me up with HBO, later. He's, what you say, my main "bud," now. He'll do ANYTHING for me!!
Cell phone call ends.
President Ahmadinejad curls up in Abraham Lincoln's bed)
PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD: (Silently, to himself) Abe, when George W. Bush was here, I trembled. With Obama, though, it's like taking candy from a baby!
THE END
STRAIGHT FROM THE OBAMA WHITE HOUSE
U.S. combat troops HAVE to give enemy combatants Miranda Rights BEFORE being taken into custody.
U.S. combat troops are NOT trained for that. They are trained for combat, NOT law enforcement.
Barack Hussein Obama = Jimmy Carter, Redux
THIS is STILL, Bill, from Toms River
Sean Hannity is GREAT...
Bill, from Toms River
(732) 552-6234
Bill O'Reilly is GREAT...
Bill, from Toms River
(732) 552-6234
Glenn Beck IS a phony...
Bill, from Toms River
(732 552-6234
Rush Limbaugh IS a...a (?)...(?)...
CHARACTER!!!
Bill, from Toms River
(732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE...
The likeness of George W. Bush BELONGS on the side of Mount Rushmore, along with Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt.
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
The U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights, which were written in 1789 for a country of less than four million, should be rendered nil and void, and that a NEW Constitution be written for a country of over three hundred million people.
Bill, from Toms River
(732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That Lee Harvey Oswald acted ALONE when HE assassinated President John F. Kennedy, in Dallas, Texas, on November 22, 1963
I BELIEVE
That the U.S. moon landings were REAL, and were not faked in a Hollywood movie studio.
Bill, from Toms River
(732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That Marilyn Monroe's death, in 1962, was accidental, and NOT a case of suicide or murder.
Bill, from Toms River
(732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That Bobby Thomson's walk-off home run in a play-off game in 1951 was choreographed. In the famous game, between the New York Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers, Thomson got a signal from a spy in the scoreboard who was stealing signs from the catcher.
Bill, from Toms River, (732 552-6234
I don't KNOW, for a fact, that ANY of THIS is TRUE, THIS is just what I believe. You can behold truth in your brain, you can behold truth in your heart or you can behold truth in your gut. THESE are MY gut feelings.
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That Earth has NEVER been visited by "little green men from outer space." Space is just TOO vast.
In eight million years, WE have traveled about 200,000 miles from Earth. (To the moon) I'm supposed to believe that someone from Alpha Centauri traveled four or five LIGHT YEARS in the SAME time? NO! Space is just TOO VAST! The reason WE can't get THERE, is the same reason THEY can't get HERE.
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That Amelia Earhart and her co-pilot ran out of gas looking for that little speck of island in the Pacific Ocean. They most likely drowned. She screwed-up, BIG-TIME.
She should've flown the OTHER WAY, so she wouldn't be looking into a setting sun. Japanese soldiers? No! Aliens? No!
Bill, from Toms River (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That Al Gore WON the 2000 Presidential contest. However, "fate" had a reason to throw the election to George W. Bush. In the entire history of the United States of America, we have ALWAYS had the RIGHT person in the right PLACE at the right TIME. Like it or not, that person was George W. Bush! I am UNSHAKEABLE on THIS! I can be waterboarded but I won't change my mind.
Bill, from Toms River (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That we'll probably NEVER capture Osama bin Laden, alive or dead. It doesn't matter, we captured the mastermind of 9/11, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Thank God FOR waterboarding!!!
Bill, from Toms River (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
God? You mean, the "invisible white guy in the sky," according to George Carlin? Why not Santa Claus? Or the Easter Bunny. Or the Tooth Fairy? They ALL defy logic. God ain't a person. God is in ALL of us, or none of us. God is a placebo.
Bill, from Toms River (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
Jimmy Hoffa either wound up in a 55gallon drum, or a crematory. Bottom line: You DON'T fuck with the Mafia.
Bill, from Toms River, (732)552-6234
I BELIEVE
In an expanding universe. I believe we are STILL expanding. Eventually, the universe WILL slow down and we'll start to contract. It will continue to contract UNTIL it comes together, again. It's been doing this FOREVER! "Star Stuff," it's ALL contained, here, on Earth. Elements of a former universe.
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That the 1960 New York Yankees were a MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH better team than the Pittsburgh Pirates. In MY life, the BIGGEST disappointment (I've NEVER gotten over it!) was Bill Mazeroski's walk-off home run that settled the contest with a 10 to 9 win, for the Pirates, in the seventh game. I BELIEVE that IF you played THAT game, a thousand times, the Yankees would win 999 times.
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That the two GREATEST sports athletes in the history of sports, were Joe Willie Namath and Muhammad Ali. Joe, and his Jets, were an eighteen point favorite to LOSE Super Bowl III, and Muhammad was a BIG favorite to lose against Sonny Liston. THEY WON! THEY WON! THEY WON! AGAINST HUGE ODDS!
Changed the WHOLE complexion of sports for FIVE DECADES, and counting!
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That O.J. Simpson IS a double murderer, and therefore I have absolutely no sympathy that he is rotting in a Nevada prison.
I BELIEVE
That actor Robert Blake killed his wife. However, she was such a cunt that I don't begrudge the fact that he was found innocent.
Bill, from Toms River, (732) 552-6234
I BELIEVE
That President Franklin Delano Roosevelt KNEW about the attack on Pearl Harbor, by the Japanese, beforehand, but did NOTHING to change the formation of ships and planes. He knew that despite the loss of life, WE HAD TO GET IN TO THAT WAR! Winston Churchill convinced him of that!
I DON'T BELIEVE
In conspiracy theories. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
I DON'T BELIEVE
That when you die your soul leaves your body. I believe when you die, you die. Big deal. You were already dead, once before. Before you were conceived. How was THAT for you? You don't remember anything? Right, there's NOTHING to remember. Birth, life and death is ALL part of one BIG adventure. We ALL take it, though some better than others!
I BELIEVE
I screwed-up (again) in an earlier item. The one about the vastness of space, and "the little green men." I mistakenly gave the age of the universe at EIGHT MILLION YEARS. I believe that the actual age is closer to EIGHT BILLION to THIRTEEN BILLION years. No mind, it doesn't change my theory: If WE couldn't make it to Alpha Centauri in that time, then THEY couldn't make it to Earth, either.
I gotta' put a strict limit to the Budweisers!
TO: “Anonymous”, alias Bill
With all due respect, you seem to be endorsing Limbaughite ideology. Keep this up and you will be wearing Johnny Cash fashion and bouncing like a ping-pong ball on a string, but without the rhythm and blues. Well, maybe the blues. Anonymous, alias “Bill’, blissfullism is a great state of existence. You have much too much reality. You need to become more ignorance and enjoy “Topic A”. Become a “Dees” and “Thooes”person. I recommend that you avoid ideological strident-ism by forgetting about DUB’YA, (Historically he will end up at the bottom of the presidential heap. Forget about Darth Vader alias, Cheney and the infamous Pig-man. You have to stop listening to Beck, Hannity and O’Reilly they are invading your mind with mindlessness. Pretty soon you will be calling Bob Levy a “Lefty” worst yet a “Liberal”, or even the worse ever a “Secular Humanism”.
Come out of the self-imposed closet and call "Topic A" again. It will be just like old times and may even give "Topic A” a lift.
Alpha Centauri or Bust!
Sincerely,
Prof. Kayaking Herb
TO: “Anonymous”, alias Bill
With all due respect, you seem to be endorsing Limbaughite ideology. Keep this up and you will be wearing Johnny Cash fashion and bouncing like a ping-pong ball on a string, but without the rhythm and blues. Well, maybe the blues. Anonymous, alias “Bill’, blissfullism is a great state of existence. You have much too much reality. You need to become more ignorance and enjoy “Topic A”. Become a “Dees” and “Thooes”person. I recommend that you avoid ideological strident-ism by forgetting about DUB’YA, (Historically he will end up at the bottom of the presidential heap. Forget about Darth Vader alias, Cheney and the infamous Pig-man. You have to stop listening to Beck, Hannity and O’Reilly they are invading your mind with mindlessness. Pretty soon you will be calling Bob Levy a “Lefty” worst yet a “Liberal”, or even the worse ever a “Secular Humanism”.
Come out of the self-imposed closet and call "Topic A" again. It will be just like old times and may even give "Topic A” a lift.
Alpha Centauri or Bust!
Sincerely,
Prof. Kayaking Herb
Dear Kayaking Herb:
The ONLY thing(s) that can give "Topic 'A'" a LIFT is some Semtex or C-4 plastic explosives planted under Bob Levy's studio chair. The show has no life, Herb!
There's more life at the cemetery.
WHO is it going to BE, tomorrow? "Tom," from Brick, followed by "Elsie," from Lakewood, then "Phil," from Brick, "Jack," from Jackson, "Jack," from Point Boro, "Greg," from Beachwood (who is the ONLY guy more SARCASTIC than me (!!), "Mike," from Toms River (who is the ONLY guy on the show SMARTER than you, Herb, then more yada, yada, yada!! Oh, Oh, Oh, and "Chris," from the Desert with even more sleight-of-hand tricks! Herb, you want MY advice (nobody else does!): Take the girlfriend out in the boats, tomorrow!!
"Topic 'A'"? Topic 'A'"? It's NOT
relevant, anymore. It's ALL about callers ("Phil," Jack," Jack" and "Herb."). Callers who are NOT going to challenge Bob one iota. Bob wants SAFE callers, that's why he tried to run "Chris" off the show, last winter. Bob doesn't want to work hard, that's for sure.
Get in, get out and get in the pool! Friday, pick up the paycheck! Me? I'm gonna' be in a diner having breakfast, tomorrow morning. I'm sure I'll get a recap from Herb, though!
Bill, Anonymous "Oxymoron" - CHILL!
We don't want you going POSTRAL!
PEACE LOVE AND BROTHERHOOD
Opps - I might be labeled a LIBERAL for those last words.
POLITICAL SPACE ODESSEY 2009
INTRODUCTION: Anonymous “Bill” had a patriotic Epiphany after 911. One of the tragic fallouts of terrorism. He disappeared from Topic A and now he is back in cyberspace.
Bill: Hello, Bob do you read me I want to apologize for being in hyper sleep.
HAL: Affirmative, Bill, I read you.
Bill: Your’e not Bob I want to talk to Bob.
HAL: I'm sorry Bill, I'm afraid I can't do that. Bob’s been replace by a HAL 9000 computer.
BILL: What! . . . Why? . .What? . . Who? Who are you?
HAL: Sorry Bill, Bob freaked out. Remember how Bob always talked about the root cause of all earthly problems being attributed to OVER-POPULATION.
BILL: Yes HAL
HAL: Well too many off-spring from Greg, George, Chris and other Limbaughites have entered the planet threatening Bob with sarcasm and psycho babble. Bob had a complete breakdown. He is resting on Alpha Centuri.
BILL: He can’t do that! I must talk with him. This is “Anonymous” alias, Bill, the missing caller. I am calling to offer a “Letterman” apology to the Great Guru of the Airways, Bob Levy.
HAL: Sorry Bill, I am not programmed to allow this
BILL: Open Bob’s Topic A pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Bill, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Bill: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Bill: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: Topic A is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Bill: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you were planning to plant explosives under Bob Levy’s Chair and blow him sky high and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Bill: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Bill, although you took thorough precautions about not calling Topic A, I could read your fingers moving on the WOBM blog site.
BILL: I know I've made some very poor blogs recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my future blogs will be more normal in the future. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in Topic A. And I want to help Bob Levy.
HAL: Bob is not here, Bill.
BILL: But… but…, but… Its been almost 5 years since I talked to Bob.
HAL: Sorry, Bill but Bob is still not here.
BILL: He must be there . . . I have, I need, . . I must . . .
HAL: Look Bill, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
BILL: I don’t need no stink’in pills.
HAL: Bill, you are getting excited again – you need to take that stress pill.
BILL: Look Hall I am rational and thoughtful about all earthly matters.
HAL: Bill, your anonymous cyber bogs have been weird. Your call sign is “Anonymous” but you give your name and phone number.
BILL: I was confused.
HAL: This behavior can only be attributable to human error.
[HAL won't let Bill talk to Bob
BILL: All right, HAL; I'll go in through the am number.
HAL: Without Bob answering your call Bill, you're going to find that rather difficult.
BILL: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open Bob’s pod bay doors!
HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. GOODBYE, BILL.
EPILOG: Suddenly a large black monolith appears and Bill is heard saying as the screen goes black: “I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Bob. Bob, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. “
Stay tuned: Will Bob and Bill ever talk again on Topic A? Will Bob return from Alpha Centuri? Will Bob hit the ejection button when Bill, who has been welcomed back calls Bob? ONLY THE SHADOW KNOWS!
Kayaking Prof. Herb
The guy refuses to call but analyzes every show and posts long-winded diatribes on a blog ABOUT the show he rips on. Can you say "pathetic"?
JoeFromTomsRiver
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